Austin based; San Antonio 3h minimum engagement

booking@serenalang.com

See more candid photos and get to know me better on X: X.com/LoveSerenaLang

Read more about me and see more photos on my website: www.serenalang.com

A man I met once said I had "a body that could stop traffic". Another said I had "one of those pin-up girl faces". Given these physical attributes, probability dictates it's unlikely that I'd also be whip-smart /and/ funny to boot, but sometimes, as I'm sure you've found in your own life, chaos theory applies. Call us strange attractors.

A late bloomer, I was forced in my deeply awkward teenage years to develop both an incredible sense of humour and a scintillating personality to go alongside my straight-A school record so that my classmates wouldn't bully me overmuch. Aged approximately 23, like a geeky butterfly emerging from a nerdy chrysalis, I then suddenly /became/ a hot girl, and am now at 30 the total package: brains, beauty, personality, charm, and wit. 

Basically: if you're a sucker for devastatingly sexy blondes with pretty faces, razor-sharp intellect and a cracking sense of humour, you're in absolutely the right place. 

More about me, the real and complete human being on the other side of your screen. I am:

- Not American but I love it here in all its charming, polarizing weirdness 

- An early investor in crypto, but unfortunately also one of those people who bought a pizza or something else equally stupid for like, 10000 Bitcoins in 2012

- Always deeply committed to the bit, whatever the bit may be (I stan Larry David)

- A speaker of four languages and, more importantly, able to order a beer in seven

- An inveterate Oxford comma user

- Equally comfortable eating street noodles on a plastic chair in Bangkok as at a three star in NYC

- Unpretentious and down to earth but with finishing-school poise and manners

- Someone who laughs easily and often

- A bad liar and a great kisser

In life I reject the fake, the dishonest, and the insincere. I have no constructed persona, no script. You'll find me exactly as I claim to be: warm; open; funny; intelligent; empathetic; and, most of all, real. (And yes, I do look like my pictures.)

If you have a cynical heart - and in times as interesting as these, I honestly don’t blame you - prepare to have it melted. 

So - here's to us. Here's to our adventure. Are you in?

Love,

Serena