Based in Austin

Hello! If I know you (and since you’re here maybe I already do, a little), then you’ve ended up in this little corner of the internet because you’re looking for something (or more accurately someone) to add a little je ne sais quoi, a zest, a spice to your day/evening. Well let me be the first to say: congrats! You’ve found her. Smart man - I knew I liked you.

I'm Serena, British establishment refugee, global expat with serious flair, and rebel with a cause. The cause, you ask? Never working in a windowless office again. 

A late bloomer, I was forced in my deeply awkward teenage years to develop both an amazing sense of humour and a scintillating personality in lieu of being a hot girl. Aged approx 25, I then suddenly became a hot girl, and am now at 30 the total package: brains, beauty, personality, charm, and wit.

A man I met on the beach in St Tropez once said I had “a body that could stop traffic”. With a petite frame at 5’4, firm natural curves, perky 34F breasts and a bottom you could bounce a quarter off (as you say in this delightful country), I am augmentation-free, filler-free, Botox-free, and guaranteed 100% free-range.

A San Francisco Uber driver said, looking at me in the rear-view mirror as he drove me across the Bay Bridge, that I had "one of those pin-up girl faces". I have large blue-green eyes, long ash-blonde hair, and high cheekbones that had a group of Russian babushkas in Beijing once asking me in Russian if I was also Russian (not even one iota but I was flattered). My sweet and friendly expression/general nice-person countenance, which belies my extremely sharp and filthy mind, incites strangers to talk to me on planes and come up and ask me for directions. I do hate that I have to blur my face for discretion because it’s personally my favourite feature. 

Some more things you may find interesting about me:

I was born in a small town in rural northern France, but was raised in London (England, not Ohio), which is why New York feels so comfortable to me every time I go there;

I went to a very expensive private girls’ boarding school in the UK which completely failed to make a proper young lady out of me (evidently);

I speak four languages to varying degrees of fluency (two bilingual fluency, two conversationally) and can order a glass of wine in seven;

I have a Master's degree in a pretty esoteric subject - guess which;

I'm a bad liar but a fantastic kisser.

I combine a British sophistication and polish with the openness and warmth of my adopted America. If you believe in Myers-Briggs (just astrology for boys? Controversial opinion I know, let's discuss), I'm an ENFJ-T, which is pretty bang on the money. I'm a born people-person, thrive off the energy of meeting new friends, and have a deep dislike of the mundane (this includes office jobs). Bring on the left-field, the weird, the interesting, the intellectually stimulating, the trysts with strangers in very expensive hotel rooms...

Even if you're shy, I guarantee that within half an hour of meeting me any nervousness will completely dissipate and you’ll feel like we’re old friends (or your money back! - well, not really, but I'm objectively charming, always interested in a seriously good time, and I'm confident you'll really like me. And yes, I do look like my pictures.)

If you have a cynical heart - and in times as interesting as these, I honestly don’t blame you - prepare to have it melted.

Here's to our adventure. 

Love,

Serena