Lilith Owl

How often do we have a chance to write a personal biography, that people might even read?! For this California woman not often, so I'm gonna go ahead and keep it real by starting from the beginning.. Wanna get to know me?

Born Sunshine Marie Mortonson in San Jose on June 12 1986 (give or take) . My family migrated from San Jose to Vallejo California in the early 1980's. My grandparents owned two small bait shops one under the 37 bridge and one on Georgia street in Old Vallejo. I don't remember too much of the Georgia street shop but I do have many memories of the 37bridge shop.

In the '80s under that very tall bridge sat a little brick walk-up bait shop and coffee stand. The Bait Shop supplied Worms and Shrimp, hooks, sinkers, bobbers, line, swivels etc....we also served coffee and sweets hotdogs and probably beer to the local anglers who fished there each day.

Just outside the shop stretched a long pier I'd say 50 yards into the bay. The Locals cast their line and talked about grown-up stuff. Of course, the "regulars" the fishermen who we saw most days would get bait at the shop and tease us girls (the granddaughters) or buy us packs of double mint or juicy fruit gum. We were strictly instructed to politely return greetings and gracefully accept compliments. Yes Please No Thank you Hi and Bye etc... As long as we would stick to the script our exchanges were brief and my cousins and I could get back to our games and play.

We would go exploring the Marsh. Trample through the tulles try to stay out of the deep mud that would suck us in like quicksand. My grandmother had a blow horn she would blow to call us in for lunch or to check on us from time to time. We were only allowed to go so far from the shop. We knew she could tell how far from the shop we were by how long it took us to get back after blowing the horn, and we always went too far. So when that horn would blow we would book, run like hell to get back fast enough. Sometimes we made it. Once, I remember, my cousin got stuck up to her knees in that thick deep mud and she lost her shoe our grandmother couldnt help but laugh at us all covered in mud and she missing a shoe all of us out of breath. Good times.

Soon the bait shops were sold and my grandparents bought a shrimping boat and we were all now commercial fishermen in the San Fransisco Bay.

My mother and father both worked on the boat as well as my Aunts and sometimes even my uncles (on my father's side) made an appearance or two. My father would scuba dive under the boat to do repairs he was a Navy man as well as my grandfather. Although shrimping was my mother's side, before my dad and she separated, my Dad was very close to my grandparents. Fond memories of spending nights with my grandparents. Waking super early my grandmother would wrap me up in blankets and oversized hand-me-down sweaters and jackets. The long day would start with a ride in the pick-up to where ever the boat was docked. Carefully walk down the dark damp salty floating dock and into the cabin of the old fishing boat, probably built in the 1950s. My grandmother would set me up in the corner of the cabin next to a propane heater. On top of the heater always were those sweet little Debbie cinnamon rolls wrapped in foil. She would heat those up with butter. The smells; shrimp and cinnamon and diesel fuel., Oh and the Bay thats what my childhood smelled like.

She would man the boat out of the pier while my Grandfather worked in the engine area. I'm sure that engine ran on diesel fuel but I think it needed to be cussed at to start because each morning my grandfather would swear at that old boat. "God Dammit" "Son of a Bitch" "Ron!" my grandmother would yell. everyday!

Out of the pier and into the bay the hunt began for the grass shrimp. I would watch the sun come up and the land disappear. The Dark skies and stars fade to Beautiful Orange yellow and red as the sun rose and turned the heavens bright blue. That was when I was finally allowed to leave the cabin and roam freely in a life jacket around the boat. The days were long and hard and I remember my excitement to see land again which meant home soon.

Once they put my grandparents' picture in the newspaper because Humphrey the Whale bumped the boat. Humphery got stuck in the bay looking for food. My beautiful grandma made the comment in the article about the incident but I remember how she disliked the picture. She was going through chemo and had lost all her beautiful native American long black hair. But ask anyone and they will tell you she was beautiful all the way to the day she was gone from this place.

Humphrey survived and made it back to sea but others didn't and my father has memories of walking around on a beached whale before understanding what it was. The poor Humpback whales were also after the shrimp. It deeply troubles me the way we affect and starve murder and destroy our planet air water land and all the animals. Although I have fond memories of shrimping I sincerely apologize for all the damage caused by our human arrogance. To pay homage and to always remember I only wear solid black everyday.

I wear black everyday for the atrocities we commit against the natural world as humans. We have all been trianed, programmed to participate in the worst most destructive habits. Habits that have been so heavily marketed to us that to not participate would deem us outcasts. Two great examples of how easily we are programmed by the corporations for profit at a severe cost to the natural world and wild life and they made us believe that its healthy and sustainable. Paper and Plastic. Plastic is not sustainable it is not very recycleable the processing to recycle plastic is toxic and expensive and uses tons of recourses and still creates waste. Plastic takes forever to break down but it begins breaking down right away and those microscopic particles are now found every where and in every animal on the planet. That is not hard information to find out. Its also well known that there are contenant sized masses of plastics in the oceans floating around causing all sorts of disruptions in the way plankton is formed and plankton is so necessary... Stand outside any Costco and you will see that every customer walking out of there has got cases and cases of water in thier cart. And when they buy it they beleive they are making a healthy choice even though they most likely know the above information. People are stupid and they suck.

Okay paper. So we have cut down all the old growth on the planet pretty much. Folks a healthy natural forest consists of many varieties of trees. The trees stay healthy because they are connected by micilium basically mushroom roots. Some trees are more immune to disease and infestations than others. The trees will literally share the elements with eachother to keep eachother safe it doesnt matter what spiecies. So taking down a forest then replanting with all the same trees at the same time is dangerous. they are suseptible to disease and fire. They will never grow large they will never thrive. So no people paper is not sustainable. Fucking Glass is sustainable. Wah its too heavy. People suck and they are over breeding.

Thats why I wear black everyday.