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I’m not your run-of-the-mill soccer mom, cougar, MILF… I’m not trying to get to a PTA meeting.. if I showed up I’d be the main topic. I’m not trying to hurry up and run any errands… but I sure love to wear a tennis skirt or yoga pants if I do. I’m not baking any cakes for the bake sale … but I’ll buy tons of cookies and flirt with some husbands. I’m not in the kitchen trying to get dinner ready … you can take me out if you want to eat a real meal. I’m not waiting around for breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day or any other day… if you wake up with me you’ve probably already eaten. I’m not gonna go gossip to the neighbors… god, no. But I’ll flirt with their husbands as well…
so, I can wear a blouse and a skirt and scold you like a good mommy should… and use ‘that voice’ and make sure you know dam good and well you’re in trouble… or… I can wear a tube top and my skirt way too short , smoke a bunch of cigs, smear my lipstick and pretend like I didn’t cross and uncross my legs right there in front of you, and be oh so sweet and naughty…
this is your fantasy… I am thrilled you’ve asked me to be a part of it. I’ll do what I can to ensure you a really great experience.
just do me a favor… don’t lowball me (I’m worth it) be fresh and clean (I will be) and remember my ‘3P’ rules … no pain.. I bruise real easy.. no piss.. I do not want my hair wet.. and no pets.. Not only will I not fuck Fido but I will neither lick lassie or bang bowser Tragically, this is a necessary clause Regardless.. come on, fellas Let’s get it on